I attended a funeral today and sat in the back row. I was
there to support my close friend in the loss of her father. It was less
than three months ago that I was at a funeral, and that time I was sitting in
the front row. It struck me today how that front row changes you. It changed my
perspective as I sat in the back and watched my friend in the front, knowing all
too well what the next days and weeks might be like for her. I pondered how we
will all be in the front row too many times in our life, we will all be in the back multiple times, and one time, we will be the one in front of the
front row for whom all are there to grieve and celebrate. It seems we will experience
each position in that room.
While the loss of a loved one is perhaps the deepest grief we
will ever experience, there is something beautiful that
God does in this process. I remember sitting in that front row so recently. The
day was surreal, but one vivid memory was knowing that rows and rows of people
were sitting behind us, literally and figuratively. I remember feeling sorrow
like I had never felt before, but love like I had never felt before, all at the
same time. It was confusing and comforting. The people in those rows behind us
took time off of work to show they cared, they sent cards, they sent meals,
they visited, they traveled, they called… they put aside something normal in
their life in order to get behind someone experiencing something that should
not be normal. And while I know their motivation was compassion, concern, and
care for our family, I wonder how many of them have been changed by being in
that front row. Is that why some people grab your arm and look you in the eye
in a way that says, “I know”? They hate what you are going through, and they
show up to sit behind you, because that’s God’s beautiful design for
relationships. It’s His loving kindness for people you can see and touch and talk
with to be a balm for hard days. One friend who has been in the front row as
well, visited shortly after my father in law passed away and said, “It was good to
lay eyeballs on you.” I knew what she meant when I saw my friend just after her
father passed this week. It was good to lay eyeballs on her and to hug her with the tightest
and longest hug I’ve ever given her and to just be there.
While I didn’t like being in the front row at a funeral, I
think there is great importance in it. The front row teaches you much about God’s
love and goodness. It reminds you of all the people He has put in your life who
love you dearly and who are behind you. And it teaches you why it is so
important to sit behind those who are in the front row when it is their turn to
endure that hard position. For those who have never been in the front row,
being in the back teaches you that when you are in that front row someday, God
will sustain you. You’ll know that the people He has put in your life will show
up and be behind you that day and during that hard time. And you’ll gain hope
that you will make it through someday when you do have to sit in the front row.
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus
Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who
comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any
trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 2
Corinthians 1:3-4
Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.
Romans 12:15
