Both Rescued From Drowning

It has been a month since our seventh child, Jude, nearly drowned.  And God has been doing what He is in the business of doing—He has been redeeming that horrible day.  Somehow He does it—he takes ashes and turns them into something beautiful to display His glory for people to get a glimpse of Him and His loving, good, grace-filled character.

For the past two years, God has had me on a journey of learning about grace-- specifically that my standing with God has not a thing to do with my performance, but all to do with Jesus’ performance.  And, since Jesus has “done” what He needed to by dying in order to pay for MY sins, I have a position before God.  Period.  End of story.  God approving of me, accepting me, or “liking” me has nothing to do with the things I do, the way my day goes, or the sin I continue to fight or fall into.  But, somehow, it has been a long process for me to fully grasp that.  And then, Jude almost drowned.

It was a beautiful, sunny Friday.  Other kids were back in school and my friends joined me at our neighborhood pool for a day of swimming, a sort of end of summer, kick off to our homeschool year.   Jude had been in the baby pool with two of my friends and I had been standing between the baby pool and the big pool while talking with my friend so I could keep eyes on both pools.  (We are water people.  Our family lives at the pool, we boat with friends, we play in the lake in our neighborhood.  We always joke that I gave birth to fish—all seven of them love the water.)  The two friends in the baby pool were leaving and we were transitioning into lunch and over to the big pool.  I walked over and noticed Jude walking around the deep end of the pool and said to myself, “I need to go get his floaties.  Oh, yes, they are over at the baby pool.”  And then, I forgot.  I got side tracked.  I still don’t know why.   Another friend had walked in to pick up her son and I had gone over to talk to my friend who had been there the whole day. 

And that’s when I heard Yosif, our lifeguard, yelling in his thick Bulgarian accent, “I have him, but I need help!”  Someone made it over there first and I heard Jude’s name and it’s all kind of a blur, but I saw Jude on his side, stomach bloated, eyes open and staring, breathing, but just lying there on the verge of unconsciousness. 

A hundred adjectives could describe the hours that ensued after that moment—the ambulance ride, the ER at Peyton Manning Children’s Hospital with rushed x-rays, blood work, putting in the IV and a toddler who wasn’t responding to anything—just staring catatonically, a doctor shaking his head and saying, “It’s like he is alert, but no one is home,” being told we were headed to the PICU and would have to just “wait and see.”  But, also, looking up and constantly seeing a wall of people who loved us and had rushed over to just be there, constantly stopping and praying with people—knowing we had access to a God who loves us and is powerful.  The knowledge that there was absolutely nothing I, myself could do in this situation, but the beauty of knowing the God who does.  Experiencing “falling” on Jesus.  Feeling completely humbled and pleading for mercy, mercy, mercy. Hating being there, wanting to turn back the clock just an hour, but at the same time liking being with Jesus, because I knew He was there—I could feel Him. He was close.  Being able to put everything you have read and learned and known about Jesus into practice and confirming your faith is real.  Thinking, somehow, “This is hard and while I don’t like it, I shouldn’t be afraid of other hard things, because Jesus is carrying me.  I know it. Don’t be afraid of the hard.” Experiencing grace and love from a husband who had not one word of condemnation or blame, but instead said his main prayer was not that Jude was ok, but was that I would not blame myself.

Over the next four hours, we were not sure of the complete outcome, but finally learned that Jude was in shock and around 5:30 that night he seemed to “snap out of it” and I knew in my mother’s heart that he was completely ok.  It was over.

I so wished church could be that day.  All I wanted to worship with God’s people.

But then, at church on Sunday, my mind was half there.  I sat there thinking over and over again, “How did I miss that?  What if he had been under the water 30 more seconds? How did I miss that?”  And then, I clearly heard Jesus say to me, “But I didn’t.”  And I felt humbled and silenced and comforted and loved. 

Ever since it all happened, my mind quickly would flash images of Jude on the side of the pool and him lying in the hospital bed. I didn’t see Jude drowning or Yosif rescue him, but somehow I came up with what that must have looked like as well and played that over and over again in my mind- thinking how Jude must have felt under the water, desperate with no ability to do anything about it-- hopeless.  This was playing over and over again in my head that day at church.  And then, again, the Lord said, “What happened at the pool is the gospel.  I am the lifeguard for all sinners who want to be rescued. Tell Yosif.”  And so that night, we had Yosif over and we shared the gospel with him.  We had a fabulous time with him.  It was healing, I think, for all of us.  Afterwards, I said to Jack, “Being able to tell Yosif about Jesus was worth it to go through this.” During our visit, Yosif was able to share the details of what he saw and heard that day, that we had not known yet.  One thing he showed us was how he saw Jude’s little hands reaching up and opening and closing like he was trying to grab onto something.

These horrific images have turned into something wonderful—a tangible, visual of the Gospel—the good news of Jesus.  The Bible says I was drowning in my sin… on my way down to something much worse than the bottom of the pool.  And like Jude, who was reaching up for help with his chubby little hands, that fall day in 1997 on a sidewalk at Miami University I reached up and said, “Help. I am a sinner.  I need you, Jesus,  to pay for my sins, even though you didn’t do any of them, because there is nothing I can do to pay for them.  I have lived apart from You, separated from You by my sin and I am ready for a new life with You.” And like Yosif, who leaped out of his chair, rushed through the deep water to scoop up Jude and save him, Jesus was right there, ready to rescue me.  And He did.  Jude nor I could do anything…. We had no power to save ourselves from our perilous situation. We both needed a rescuer.   He did all the work.  We were saved by grace.  And now, it is clear.

The pressure of my performance is off and the worship of my Savior is on.  I am thankful on so many levels.  There were numerous gifts to be had in this terrible situation.  I pray that I remember this so that I do not fear the hard in the future. 

Just 3 days ago, our friends tragically lost their son after he was hit by a car when going to get the mail—and I am fighting to give into fear of the hard.  But we have the same God.  That’s what I am clinging to.  I experienced enough grace and comfort from God for my moment of need, and His supply is unending and unfathomable.  They have a much greater need, and He will pour out much greater grace and comfort.  He will carry them through this. He will be close. And somehow, I don’t know when or how, He will redeem this terrible situation so His people and others can see more of Him and experience more of Him.  That is a gift. And that is our Great Redeemer.

to grant to those who mourn in Zion—
    to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
    the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit;
that they may be called oaks of righteousness,
    the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified

Is. 61:3

 And you were dead in the trespasses and sins  ⁴ But God, being rich in mercy,because of the great love with which he loved us, ⁵ even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— ⁶ and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, ⁷ so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. ⁸ For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, ⁹ not a result of works, so that no one may boast. ¹⁰ For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.  Ephesians 2:1, 4-10

Catching a Glimpse

It happened again...  something in daily life happens, and I do a double take as I pause and think about how it is a picture of God right here on earth.  Sometimes it's little, sometimes it's profound.  Here's what happened today.

Jude was reaching up to grab a snack off of the table.  I took his hands down off of the table and told him to wait.  He LOST it. He was hungry (I suppose) and wanted that snack NOW!  I wanted him to wait, because we had just gotten home from church, where he had been in the nursery for several hours and I wanted to wash his hands off.  I had every intention of giving him the snack he desired, but I wanted to protect him by washing away potential germs first.  

And then it happened.  I saw a picture right then of how we might ask God for something or desire something, and He doesn't give it to us.  We fret, maybe even whine, or perhaps throw a fit.  We assume God doesn't want us to have it, or it was wrong to ask for it, when all the while, He was having us wait, because He was doing something in the meantime to protect and help.  He didn't mind that we asked or desired.  In fact, He is eager to give it and wants to make it better by helping us receive it safely.

Yep.... He loves us.  He really loves us.  And He is merciful to reveal Himself through every day events.  Be looking!

Angry Birds and the Gospel of Grace

Our almost four year old son, Jeremiah, is an Angry Birds fanatic. Actually, I am not sure that someone this young should be as proficient at the game as he is. He has taught multiple adults how to play and we get a kick out of watching him play. This kid is passionate about Angry Birds. So, we gave in and bought him an Angry Birds stuffed animal for Christmas. Also for Christmas, my good friend, knowing Jeremiah's slight obsession, bought him a box (which later turned into several boxes) of Angry Birds fruit snacks. (He feels compelled to call her and let him know when his supply is out-- we are working on that). This same friend often comes over and lets my kids play Angry Birds on her iPhone, and this Tuesday was no different. As she was leaving, there was talk about Jeremiah being upset over "deleting" Angry Birds. Sure enough, she checked her phone and he must have held down the icon too long, and had a 50/50 chance to answer "Are you sure you want to delete this app?" correctly since he can't read yet. It seems he went with the three letter choice and thus, Angry Birds was deleted. At dinner that night, we asked the kids what their "high" for the day was and what their "low" for the day was. Jeremiah quickly said his low was "'downloading' Angry Birds from (our friend's) iPhone."

It turns out, that syncing did re-install the app, but all of her husband's extensive Angry Birds' achievement over the last several months was lost for good. I gently shared this with Jeremiah the next morning-- that the levels completed had been lost and our friend was sad. Quickly, he got up from the breakfast table and came back with a Ziplock bag full of the cardboard Angry Birds images he had cut out from the fruit snacks boxes and had been saving. With urgency, he said, "I will give him these!" It was as if to say, "I want to fix it and make it right and this will do it!" It almost brought me to tears and I told him I thought it was a great idea to give those to him to say he was sorry.

Later that night, he chose to pray about the Angry Birds situation. Today, first thing in the morning and unprompted by me, he brought out the bag of cardboard Angry Birds images and asked me to write a note on it saying he was sorry and asking for forgiveness. And then, he said that he wanted us to take it to our friend's house. He was very specific that he wanted to go in the house and see him and hand this package over himself. He then turned as if we were going to go do this right now. I explained it would have to wait until later. He then brought out something more expensive and more precious to him that the same couple had given him, to which I said, "Sweet boy, (our friend) would not want you to give that back to him. He wants you to enjoy this good gift he has given you. This gift of a toy is not going to get all of those completed Angry Birds levels back. Yes, you have done something that you cannot fix, but you can ask him to forgive you. And I know he will. He loves you. And he is able to fix it." You have to understand that these are our very good friends, like an aunt and an uncle to our kids and some of the most charitable people I know.

As I saw this turmoil unfolding in Jeremiah's heart, I started thinking about and thanking God for His amazing gospel of grace. As our pastor recently said, "God is holy. We are not. That's a problem." I thought about how we try to bring pieces of cardboard to God to atone for our sin. Not only does cardboard not fix our separation from a holy God, just like it doesn't fix losing completed levels of an iPhone game, but God doesn't want our cardboard. He doesn't want our better gift. He wants us to acknowledge our sin, and to turn to Him. He is the only One who has the ability to fix our sin problem and He wants to give us the solution-- His forgiveness, mercy and grace through Jesus' death and resurrection. He is an unbelievably good God who truly loves us and really wants us to be with Him. He is FOR us unholy, sinful people. And that, is incredible to me. I am thankful.

Ephesians 2:8-9 says "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-- and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-- not by works, so that no one can boast."

Titus 3:4-7 says, "But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life."

Andi

Here is a link to our pastor's sermon:

http://www.yourchurch.com/sermon/the-mystery-of-godliness/

Here is a simple, but helpful website:

http://www.getchristiananswers.com/articles/what-romans-road-salvation#.T0jlOIcgeSo

So much theology in this picture...

We are Dust

As a father has compassion on his children,

So the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;

for he knows how we are formed,

he remembers that we are dust.

Psalm 103:13-14

Reading Psalm 103 recently, this part stuck out to me. It made me think about my kids. Sometimes we can can be hard on our kids, frustrated with them and momentarily wishing we were somewhere else... like a beach... without them. After reading this Psalm, I was reminded that my kids are just beginning to form and to shape into "big people." Really, when you think about it, most of these kids we get frustrated with, have only been on the earth 300-3000 days.... TOTAL. That is not much time for experience. Part of that time, they spent lying on their backs or in someones arms, or crawling around on the floor finding pieces of lint you didn't know existed. So, when my 2 year old STILL spills water every time he fills his cup, or my 6 year old forgets to wash her hands after using the restroom, or my 9 year old can't seem to sit still at times, let me remember that Jesus has compassion on me, remembering how I was formed and that I am dust. And let me have compassion on these little ones, remembering that they are very much still learning even the basics of life... and that their lives thus far can still be numbered by a few thousand days or even a few hundred days (now go calculate your age and experience).