A Father's Love

After months of planning and preparation, the day had finally come for Becky’s surprise 40^th birthday party. Becky’s birthday is October 28 and her dad’s was the 29^th.  Since the time she was a teenager, they had always celebrated with Mexican food and a picture of them in sombreros.  This party, however, was all Pop’s idea. Several months prior, he had organized meetings, brainstormed, hired and met with a caterer (and even went out to lunch with him), secured a location, and combed through decades of pictures to create a 30 minute video tribute (which he poured dozens of hours into). He could not wait to bless his daughter. It was his joy to do so.

The image that will forever be etched in my mind, and one that evidently had an impact on me at the time, due to all of the pictures I have of just this one part of the event, was Pop looking out the window for Becky to arrive. He was like a kid in a candy store. Eager. Expectant. Overjoyed. He couldn’t wait for her to walk through the door and to have a night celebrating her. It had nothing to do with him…. He wanted to bless her, give her good gifts, and put her in the limelight, even though, really, he was behind it all. In fact, Becky wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for her dad! Nor would she be the woman she is without the great influence he had on her life.

The night was fantastic. It went off without a hitch. Days later, Becky approached me and asked if I knew how much the catering cost, because she wanted to help pay for it. I remember telling her that her parents wouldn’t even consider it—that they loved her so much. It was as if nothing to them. Spare no expense. I want to bless my daughter, because… she’s my daughter.

There was so much in the planning process and actual event of this party that made me think about a father’s love, and ultimately the Father’s love toward His children. What a picture of this we had in Jack and Becky’s dad, and what a blessing that is. I think we often struggle to see God this way—especially when we mess up, or aren’t at our “best.” So, if a human father can show us just a small glimpse of the essence of God’s love, how much more does the perfect, all knowing, all mighty, Creator of our souls, full-of-love-God love us, view us, and want to bless us? 

He gave and continues to give to us.

He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Romans 8:32

And…

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17a

He can’t wait to be with us.

 “In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.” John 14:2

He thinks about us.

How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! Psalm 139:17

He saves us, delights in us, comforts us and rejoices over us.

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17

So, we have a God who over and over again in His Word tells us how much he loves us. He is ultimately:

With us

For us

Our Creator (not a single other person in all of history is exactly like us—He purposefully designed us).

I have a feeling that God is in the party business. And the blessing business. And head of the joy department. And the crazy thing is that we don’t deserve it one bit. His love for us is deep, steadfast, and ultimately unconditional.

The first stanza of How Deep the Father’s Love for Us sums this up so well.

How deep the Father’s love for us

How vast beyond all measure

That He should give His only Son

To make a wretch His treasure

This side of Heaven, I am convinced we cannot come close to understanding God’s love for us. But, I am incredibly thankful for moments on earth that remind us of this fact as far as we can comprehend, especially when Satan is constantly trying to tell us otherwise.

I will never forget Becky’s dad standing at that window, with a huge smile on his face, waiting eagerly for his daughter. It is a perfect image of a father’s love forever etched in my mind and on my heart.

Happy birthday Becky!  And happy first birthday in Heaven, Pop.

The Front Row

I attended a funeral today and sat in the back row. I was there to support my close friend in the loss of her father. It was less than three months ago that I was at a funeral, and that time I was sitting in the front row. It struck me today how that front row changes you. It changed my perspective as I sat in the back and watched my friend in the front, knowing all too well what the next days and weeks might be like for her. I pondered how we will all be in the front row too many times in our life, we will all be in the back multiple times, and one time, we will be the one in front of the front row for whom all are there to grieve and celebrate. It seems we will experience each position in that room.

While the loss of a loved one is perhaps the deepest grief we will ever experience, there is something beautiful that God does in this process. I remember sitting in that front row so recently. The day was surreal, but one vivid memory was knowing that rows and rows of people were sitting behind us, literally and figuratively. I remember feeling sorrow like I had never felt before, but love like I had never felt before, all at the same time. It was confusing and comforting. The people in those rows behind us took time off of work to show they cared, they sent cards, they sent meals, they visited, they traveled, they called… they put aside something normal in their life in order to get behind someone experiencing something that should not be normal. And while I know their motivation was compassion, concern, and care for our family, I wonder how many of them have been changed by being in that front row. Is that why some people grab your arm and look you in the eye in a way that says, “I know”? They hate what you are going through, and they show up to sit behind you, because that’s God’s beautiful design for relationships. It’s His loving kindness for people you can see and touch and talk with to be a balm for hard days. One friend who has been in the front row as well, visited shortly after my father in law passed away and said, “It was good to lay eyeballs on you.” I knew what she meant when I saw my friend just after her father passed this week. It was good to lay eyeballs on her and to hug her with the tightest and longest hug I’ve ever given her and to just be there.

While I didn’t like being in the front row at a funeral, I think there is great importance in it. The front row teaches you much about God’s love and goodness. It reminds you of all the people He has put in your life who love you dearly and who are behind you. And it teaches you why it is so important to sit behind those who are in the front row when it is their turn to endure that hard position. For those who have never been in the front row, being in the back teaches you that when you are in that front row someday, God will sustain you. You’ll know that the people He has put in your life will show up and be behind you that day and during that hard time. And you’ll gain hope that you will make it through someday when you do have to sit in the front row.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, ⁴ who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Romans 12:15

Both Rescued From Drowning

It has been a month since our seventh child, Jude, nearly drowned.  And God has been doing what He is in the business of doing—He has been redeeming that horrible day.  Somehow He does it—he takes ashes and turns them into something beautiful to display His glory for people to get a glimpse of Him and His loving, good, grace-filled character.

For the past two years, God has had me on a journey of learning about grace-- specifically that my standing with God has not a thing to do with my performance, but all to do with Jesus’ performance.  And, since Jesus has “done” what He needed to by dying in order to pay for MY sins, I have a position before God.  Period.  End of story.  God approving of me, accepting me, or “liking” me has nothing to do with the things I do, the way my day goes, or the sin I continue to fight or fall into.  But, somehow, it has been a long process for me to fully grasp that.  And then, Jude almost drowned.

It was a beautiful, sunny Friday.  Other kids were back in school and my friends joined me at our neighborhood pool for a day of swimming, a sort of end of summer, kick off to our homeschool year.   Jude had been in the baby pool with two of my friends and I had been standing between the baby pool and the big pool while talking with my friend so I could keep eyes on both pools.  (We are water people.  Our family lives at the pool, we boat with friends, we play in the lake in our neighborhood.  We always joke that I gave birth to fish—all seven of them love the water.)  The two friends in the baby pool were leaving and we were transitioning into lunch and over to the big pool.  I walked over and noticed Jude walking around the deep end of the pool and said to myself, “I need to go get his floaties.  Oh, yes, they are over at the baby pool.”  And then, I forgot.  I got side tracked.  I still don’t know why.   Another friend had walked in to pick up her son and I had gone over to talk to my friend who had been there the whole day. 

And that’s when I heard Yosif, our lifeguard, yelling in his thick Bulgarian accent, “I have him, but I need help!”  Someone made it over there first and I heard Jude’s name and it’s all kind of a blur, but I saw Jude on his side, stomach bloated, eyes open and staring, breathing, but just lying there on the verge of unconsciousness. 

A hundred adjectives could describe the hours that ensued after that moment—the ambulance ride, the ER at Peyton Manning Children’s Hospital with rushed x-rays, blood work, putting in the IV and a toddler who wasn’t responding to anything—just staring catatonically, a doctor shaking his head and saying, “It’s like he is alert, but no one is home,” being told we were headed to the PICU and would have to just “wait and see.”  But, also, looking up and constantly seeing a wall of people who loved us and had rushed over to just be there, constantly stopping and praying with people—knowing we had access to a God who loves us and is powerful.  The knowledge that there was absolutely nothing I, myself could do in this situation, but the beauty of knowing the God who does.  Experiencing “falling” on Jesus.  Feeling completely humbled and pleading for mercy, mercy, mercy. Hating being there, wanting to turn back the clock just an hour, but at the same time liking being with Jesus, because I knew He was there—I could feel Him. He was close.  Being able to put everything you have read and learned and known about Jesus into practice and confirming your faith is real.  Thinking, somehow, “This is hard and while I don’t like it, I shouldn’t be afraid of other hard things, because Jesus is carrying me.  I know it. Don’t be afraid of the hard.” Experiencing grace and love from a husband who had not one word of condemnation or blame, but instead said his main prayer was not that Jude was ok, but was that I would not blame myself.

Over the next four hours, we were not sure of the complete outcome, but finally learned that Jude was in shock and around 5:30 that night he seemed to “snap out of it” and I knew in my mother’s heart that he was completely ok.  It was over.

I so wished church could be that day.  All I wanted to worship with God’s people.

But then, at church on Sunday, my mind was half there.  I sat there thinking over and over again, “How did I miss that?  What if he had been under the water 30 more seconds? How did I miss that?”  And then, I clearly heard Jesus say to me, “But I didn’t.”  And I felt humbled and silenced and comforted and loved. 

Ever since it all happened, my mind quickly would flash images of Jude on the side of the pool and him lying in the hospital bed. I didn’t see Jude drowning or Yosif rescue him, but somehow I came up with what that must have looked like as well and played that over and over again in my mind- thinking how Jude must have felt under the water, desperate with no ability to do anything about it-- hopeless.  This was playing over and over again in my head that day at church.  And then, again, the Lord said, “What happened at the pool is the gospel.  I am the lifeguard for all sinners who want to be rescued. Tell Yosif.”  And so that night, we had Yosif over and we shared the gospel with him.  We had a fabulous time with him.  It was healing, I think, for all of us.  Afterwards, I said to Jack, “Being able to tell Yosif about Jesus was worth it to go through this.” During our visit, Yosif was able to share the details of what he saw and heard that day, that we had not known yet.  One thing he showed us was how he saw Jude’s little hands reaching up and opening and closing like he was trying to grab onto something.

These horrific images have turned into something wonderful—a tangible, visual of the Gospel—the good news of Jesus.  The Bible says I was drowning in my sin… on my way down to something much worse than the bottom of the pool.  And like Jude, who was reaching up for help with his chubby little hands, that fall day in 1997 on a sidewalk at Miami University I reached up and said, “Help. I am a sinner.  I need you, Jesus,  to pay for my sins, even though you didn’t do any of them, because there is nothing I can do to pay for them.  I have lived apart from You, separated from You by my sin and I am ready for a new life with You.” And like Yosif, who leaped out of his chair, rushed through the deep water to scoop up Jude and save him, Jesus was right there, ready to rescue me.  And He did.  Jude nor I could do anything…. We had no power to save ourselves from our perilous situation. We both needed a rescuer.   He did all the work.  We were saved by grace.  And now, it is clear.

The pressure of my performance is off and the worship of my Savior is on.  I am thankful on so many levels.  There were numerous gifts to be had in this terrible situation.  I pray that I remember this so that I do not fear the hard in the future. 

Just 3 days ago, our friends tragically lost their son after he was hit by a car when going to get the mail—and I am fighting to give into fear of the hard.  But we have the same God.  That’s what I am clinging to.  I experienced enough grace and comfort from God for my moment of need, and His supply is unending and unfathomable.  They have a much greater need, and He will pour out much greater grace and comfort.  He will carry them through this. He will be close. And somehow, I don’t know when or how, He will redeem this terrible situation so His people and others can see more of Him and experience more of Him.  That is a gift. And that is our Great Redeemer.

to grant to those who mourn in Zion—
    to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
    the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit;
that they may be called oaks of righteousness,
    the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified

Is. 61:3

 And you were dead in the trespasses and sins  ⁴ But God, being rich in mercy,because of the great love with which he loved us, ⁵ even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— ⁶ and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, ⁷ so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. ⁸ For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, ⁹ not a result of works, so that no one may boast. ¹⁰ For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.  Ephesians 2:1, 4-10

Catching a Glimpse

It happened again...  something in daily life happens, and I do a double take as I pause and think about how it is a picture of God right here on earth.  Sometimes it's little, sometimes it's profound.  Here's what happened today.

Jude was reaching up to grab a snack off of the table.  I took his hands down off of the table and told him to wait.  He LOST it. He was hungry (I suppose) and wanted that snack NOW!  I wanted him to wait, because we had just gotten home from church, where he had been in the nursery for several hours and I wanted to wash his hands off.  I had every intention of giving him the snack he desired, but I wanted to protect him by washing away potential germs first.  

And then it happened.  I saw a picture right then of how we might ask God for something or desire something, and He doesn't give it to us.  We fret, maybe even whine, or perhaps throw a fit.  We assume God doesn't want us to have it, or it was wrong to ask for it, when all the while, He was having us wait, because He was doing something in the meantime to protect and help.  He didn't mind that we asked or desired.  In fact, He is eager to give it and wants to make it better by helping us receive it safely.

Yep.... He loves us.  He really loves us.  And He is merciful to reveal Himself through every day events.  Be looking!

Angry Birds and the Gospel of Grace

Our almost four year old son, Jeremiah, is an Angry Birds fanatic. Actually, I am not sure that someone this young should be as proficient at the game as he is. He has taught multiple adults how to play and we get a kick out of watching him play. This kid is passionate about Angry Birds. So, we gave in and bought him an Angry Birds stuffed animal for Christmas. Also for Christmas, my good friend, knowing Jeremiah's slight obsession, bought him a box (which later turned into several boxes) of Angry Birds fruit snacks. (He feels compelled to call her and let him know when his supply is out-- we are working on that). This same friend often comes over and lets my kids play Angry Birds on her iPhone, and this Tuesday was no different. As she was leaving, there was talk about Jeremiah being upset over "deleting" Angry Birds. Sure enough, she checked her phone and he must have held down the icon too long, and had a 50/50 chance to answer "Are you sure you want to delete this app?" correctly since he can't read yet. It seems he went with the three letter choice and thus, Angry Birds was deleted. At dinner that night, we asked the kids what their "high" for the day was and what their "low" for the day was. Jeremiah quickly said his low was "'downloading' Angry Birds from (our friend's) iPhone."

It turns out, that syncing did re-install the app, but all of her husband's extensive Angry Birds' achievement over the last several months was lost for good. I gently shared this with Jeremiah the next morning-- that the levels completed had been lost and our friend was sad. Quickly, he got up from the breakfast table and came back with a Ziplock bag full of the cardboard Angry Birds images he had cut out from the fruit snacks boxes and had been saving. With urgency, he said, "I will give him these!" It was as if to say, "I want to fix it and make it right and this will do it!" It almost brought me to tears and I told him I thought it was a great idea to give those to him to say he was sorry.

Later that night, he chose to pray about the Angry Birds situation. Today, first thing in the morning and unprompted by me, he brought out the bag of cardboard Angry Birds images and asked me to write a note on it saying he was sorry and asking for forgiveness. And then, he said that he wanted us to take it to our friend's house. He was very specific that he wanted to go in the house and see him and hand this package over himself. He then turned as if we were going to go do this right now. I explained it would have to wait until later. He then brought out something more expensive and more precious to him that the same couple had given him, to which I said, "Sweet boy, (our friend) would not want you to give that back to him. He wants you to enjoy this good gift he has given you. This gift of a toy is not going to get all of those completed Angry Birds levels back. Yes, you have done something that you cannot fix, but you can ask him to forgive you. And I know he will. He loves you. And he is able to fix it." You have to understand that these are our very good friends, like an aunt and an uncle to our kids and some of the most charitable people I know.

As I saw this turmoil unfolding in Jeremiah's heart, I started thinking about and thanking God for His amazing gospel of grace. As our pastor recently said, "God is holy. We are not. That's a problem." I thought about how we try to bring pieces of cardboard to God to atone for our sin. Not only does cardboard not fix our separation from a holy God, just like it doesn't fix losing completed levels of an iPhone game, but God doesn't want our cardboard. He doesn't want our better gift. He wants us to acknowledge our sin, and to turn to Him. He is the only One who has the ability to fix our sin problem and He wants to give us the solution-- His forgiveness, mercy and grace through Jesus' death and resurrection. He is an unbelievably good God who truly loves us and really wants us to be with Him. He is FOR us unholy, sinful people. And that, is incredible to me. I am thankful.

Ephesians 2:8-9 says "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-- and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-- not by works, so that no one can boast."

Titus 3:4-7 says, "But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life."

Andi

Here is a link to our pastor's sermon:

http://www.yourchurch.com/sermon/the-mystery-of-godliness/

Here is a simple, but helpful website:

http://www.getchristiananswers.com/articles/what-romans-road-salvation#.T0jlOIcgeSo