The Front Row

I attended a funeral today and sat in the back row. I was there to support my close friend in the loss of her father. It was less than three months ago that I was at a funeral, and that time I was sitting in the front row. It struck me today how that front row changes you. It changed my perspective as I sat in the back and watched my friend in the front, knowing all too well what the next days and weeks might be like for her. I pondered how we will all be in the front row too many times in our life, we will all be in the back multiple times, and one time, we will be the one in front of the front row for whom all are there to grieve and celebrate. It seems we will experience each position in that room.

While the loss of a loved one is perhaps the deepest grief we will ever experience, there is something beautiful that God does in this process. I remember sitting in that front row so recently. The day was surreal, but one vivid memory was knowing that rows and rows of people were sitting behind us, literally and figuratively. I remember feeling sorrow like I had never felt before, but love like I had never felt before, all at the same time. It was confusing and comforting. The people in those rows behind us took time off of work to show they cared, they sent cards, they sent meals, they visited, they traveled, they called… they put aside something normal in their life in order to get behind someone experiencing something that should not be normal. And while I know their motivation was compassion, concern, and care for our family, I wonder how many of them have been changed by being in that front row. Is that why some people grab your arm and look you in the eye in a way that says, “I know”? They hate what you are going through, and they show up to sit behind you, because that’s God’s beautiful design for relationships. It’s His loving kindness for people you can see and touch and talk with to be a balm for hard days. One friend who has been in the front row as well, visited shortly after my father in law passed away and said, “It was good to lay eyeballs on you.” I knew what she meant when I saw my friend just after her father passed this week. It was good to lay eyeballs on her and to hug her with the tightest and longest hug I’ve ever given her and to just be there.

While I didn’t like being in the front row at a funeral, I think there is great importance in it. The front row teaches you much about God’s love and goodness. It reminds you of all the people He has put in your life who love you dearly and who are behind you. And it teaches you why it is so important to sit behind those who are in the front row when it is their turn to endure that hard position. For those who have never been in the front row, being in the back teaches you that when you are in that front row someday, God will sustain you. You’ll know that the people He has put in your life will show up and be behind you that day and during that hard time. And you’ll gain hope that you will make it through someday when you do have to sit in the front row.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, ⁴ who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Romans 12:15